Tuesday, March 01, 2016

Memories of the GE Attempted Takeover of Honeywell - courtesy of an anonymous Honeywell employee

The Wreck of the Mike Bonsignore

Sung to the tune of
The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
By Gordon Lightfoot

The legend lives on from the management on down 
Of the failed merger with GE. 
The deal it was dead and many have said 
It was killed by a man they called Monti. 
With an annual gross of twenty-eight billion or more 
Honeywell was lively and kicking. 
But many quiet men with greed cold in their veins 
Saw a business ripe for the picking. 

In Honeywell’s mind it was e-business time 
And the market was ours to be taken. 
We assembled a crew from the old and the new 
And no one caught on we were faking. 
The analysts bought in and the stock price looked good 
The money she flowed like a hydrant. 
It was part of the plan of many a sly man 
To grab a big piece of the Internet. 

So millions went out and very little came in, 
”But this seems to be how you do it”. 
”Look at the money you spent while we paid the rent”, 
Was the cry from the business units. 
With a split in the ranks and morale in the tank, 
The company was not stable. 
But from the outside, Honeywell seemed a good buy 
And GE stepped up to the table. 

When the deal went to shit and it looked desperate, 
They said “Boys, let’s try Six Sigma. 
Jack likes it best, therefore so do the rest, 
You’ll do it if you know what’s good for ya.” 
So we pissed around and we wrote some stuff down 
’Till we all knew the Black Belt story. 
While it may have been fun, by the time it was done 
Came the wreck of the Mike Bonsignore. 

Does any one know where the love of God goes 
When the big shots look at their options? 
The pundits all say he’d have made it okay, 
If he just would’ve cut forty thousand. 
When the coup came, it was bloody and fast, 
It was led by someone we knew, 
When the strings had been pulled, and the souls had been sold, 
There wasn’t much left to look up to. 

So Bossidy came and Bosignore sailed off, 
Waving sadly and wiping his eyes dry. 
”Don’t worry ‘bout me, I have more than plenty,” 
Then he laughed and he kissed us goodbye. 
”You can’t get too pissed ‘cause it’s just business”, 
But God knows it’s tough not to blame him. 
’Cause he wasted a year and a load of false cheer, 
Telling the boys that Jack Welch would save ‘em. 

In a big boardroom in Morristown they sat, 
And read the Wall Street Journal. 
The unemployment line, it grew thousands of times 
By each man and woman t’was let go. 
The legend lives on from the management on down, 
Of the failed merger with GE. 
The deal it was dead and many have said 
It was killed by a man they called Monti.